Endings and Beginnings

I have arrived in Europe for a while now and I have had a bit of time to cool down and adjust. Getting rid of my jetlag took a while, but I seem to be slightly over it now.

It all still seems unreal, I still feel like I am in Korea, I keep dreaming about what I am going to do in Seoul the following day. So, when I wake up, opening my eyes and looking up at the ceiling, I realise that something is off and I have a couple of moments of doubt, unsure of where I am, until I realise that I am in my room in France. Every morning starts with doubt. Doubting everything. Doubting that I am in Europe. Doubting whether I really lived in South Korea for three months or not. Trying to figure out how much of it was just as a dream and how much of it was reality. It takes a while. Every morning.

I go over it all in my head again. I repeat it every morning, as to not forget, and as to believe. Because: “every time a child says: ‘I don’t believe a fairies’ a fairy somewhere falls down dead!” as Peter Pan so truly says. That’s why I have to believe; I’m not killing anymore fairies.

It has already been over a week since I left Seoul.

Over a week since I had my last meal in South Korea; Samgyetang at a restaurant close to City hall.


Over a week since I said my last goodbyes to my friends in Korea at a certain bus stop in Seoul as they helped me carry my luggage.



I’ve brushed my teeth with my new super-cool frog toothbrush for the first time, seen our new swimming pool for the first time and  read a manga in French for the first time this summer.


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Thilde Kold Holdt

I am a novelist by profession, currently working an epic fantasy series about 7th century Korea. My epic fantasy trilogy about Vikings, the Hanged God, is currently being published. I have lived

enough different places that the most difficult question to answer is: "where are you from?" I am, quite simply, from the planet Earth, for I have yet to set foot on Mars. Someday, though...

© Thilde Kold Holdt